10 Tips for Attending Holiday Gatherings While in Recovery

The holiday season is often associated with joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for individuals in recovery, it can also bring unique challenges. Navigating holiday parties, family gatherings, and festive celebrations while maintaining your sobriety can feel daunting, but it is entirely possible with the right preparation, mindset, and support. At Dunham House, we believe in empowering individuals to thrive in their recovery journeys, even during the holidays. Here are 10 practical tips to help you attend holiday gatherings while staying grounded in your recovery.

1. Plan Ahead for Social Events

When preparing for holiday gatherings, it’s essential to plan ahead. Consider the specific events you’ll be attending and assess the potential challenges you might face, such as alcohol or social dynamics that could trigger cravings. Will there be alcohol at the event? Are there certain people who might make it more difficult to maintain your sobriety? Planning how you’ll navigate these challenges helps you feel more in control.

Create an exit strategy as well, such as arranging your own transportation so you can leave early if necessary, or letting the host know that you may need to step out for a bit. Having a plan helps reduce anxiety and ensures you’re prepared for any situation.

Tip: Write down your plan ahead of time and review it before each event. This ensures you feel confident going into the gathering.

2. Communicate Your Needs to Hosts and Loved Ones

It can be difficult to attend holiday events without the support of your loved ones. Open communication with your family or friends about your recovery can be a key part of managing gatherings. Let them know what they can do to help, whether it’s asking them to refrain from serving alcohol around you or being available to check in with you during the event.

Having these conversations beforehand allows for better understanding and fewer awkward moments during the gathering. Remember, your loved ones want to support your recovery—they just need to know how.

Tip: Initiate these conversations early to ensure the people around you understand your needs and can make necessary adjustments to make you feel comfortable.

3. Bring a Sober Support Buddy

Having a sober companion with you at holiday events can be an incredibly helpful way to stay accountable and supported. Whether it’s a close friend or a mentor, a sober buddy can help redirect conversations away from triggers, provide comfort during stressful moments, or simply act as an emotional anchor in an unfamiliar environment.

A sober buddy gives you someone to lean on when the event feels overwhelming and can help you stick to your recovery goals in social situations where you might feel more vulnerable.

Tip: Choose a buddy who understands your recovery journey and is someone you trust. Their presence can provide reassurance and help you stay grounded.

4. Stay Engaged with Your Recovery Network

During the holidays, it’s easy to fall out of touch with your usual recovery routines. However, maintaining connections with your recovery network is crucial, even when you're attending holiday gatherings. Stay connected with your support group, sponsor, or counselor to ensure you have a solid foundation during challenging social events.

For example, you can attend your regular meetings before or after a holiday party, or check in with a sponsor during moments when you need encouragement. These regular check-ins help you stay connected to your recovery and can offer strength during potentially triggering situations.

Tip: Schedule calls or check-ins with your sponsor or recovery network before heading to events, so you can maintain a sense of accountability and support.

5. Prioritize Your Health and Wellness

The holidays are often a busy time, but it’s vital to prioritize self-care when attending gatherings. Take time to ensure you're well-rested, nourished, and hydrated so you can handle the demands of social events. Physical well-being plays a huge role in maintaining emotional resilience, which is essential when navigating social pressures.

When you're feeling physically well, you're better able to manage stress, emotional triggers, and fatigue that can arise in busy holiday environments. You might even want to bring healthy snacks or non-alcoholic beverages to parties to help you stay energized and avoid temptation.

Tip: Avoid over-scheduling yourself. Ensure that you're allowing time for rest and recovery before and after events so that you're at your best.

6. Set Boundaries and Manage Expectations

Holiday gatherings can come with expectations for “perfect” experiences—whether it’s about family dynamics, gift-giving, or socializing. For individuals in recovery, managing these expectations and setting boundaries can make a significant difference. If the event or environment feels overwhelming or uncomfortable, it's okay to step back and take a break.

Be kind to yourself and remember that your well-being comes first. Recovery is about progress, not perfection, and taking care of your emotional and physical health is the top priority.

Tip: Don’t be afraid to say no if an event feels like too much or goes against your recovery goals. Protecting your sobriety is the most important thing.

7. Practice Mindfulness in Social Situations

Mindfulness techniques can be incredibly effective for staying centered and calm during social events. In moments when you feel overwhelmed or anxious, try grounding exercises like deep breathing, stepping outside for a few minutes, or using other mindfulness practices that help you reconnect with the present moment.

Mindfulness can also help you manage anxiety and stress during parties, allowing you to focus on enjoying the experience without being consumed by triggers or negative thoughts.

Tip: Incorporate mindfulness into your routine, whether it's a few minutes of breathing exercises before entering the event or using a grounding technique when you feel the urge to drink or leave.

8. Create New Sober Traditions

The holidays are a time for tradition, and recovery offers an opportunity to redefine what those traditions look like. Instead of engaging in past behaviors or attending events that may involve drinking or partying, consider creating new, sober-friendly traditions that are in line with your recovery journey.

These traditions could include hosting a sober dinner, volunteering, or spending quiet time with loved ones doing activities like watching holiday movies, hiking, or enjoying a holiday craft project. Creating these new memories can make the holidays feel just as special without the need for alcohol or substances.

Tip: Take the lead in creating or suggesting new sober activities that align with your values. These new traditions can help you redefine the holiday experience.

9. Have a Response Ready for Alcohol or Substance Offers

In many social situations, alcohol will be present, and it’s helpful to have a plan for how to politely decline. Prepare yourself in advance for moments when someone offers you a drink. A simple, firm response like “No, thank you” or “I’m sticking with water tonight” will often be enough. You don’t need to go into detail unless you feel comfortable doing so.

Having a response ready not only helps you maintain control but also prevents you from feeling pressured in the moment. If necessary, you can also offer an alternative drink like sparkling water to keep your hands busy and avoid drawing attention.

Tip: Practice your response beforehand. Being prepared can help reduce any nervousness or discomfort when declining alcohol.

10. Know When It’s Time to Leave

Sometimes, the best way to maintain your recovery during a holiday gathering is to leave early. If the environment becomes too overwhelming or there are too many triggers, give yourself permission to exit. It’s not selfish to prioritize your well-being; it’s a form of self-care and an essential part of protecting your recovery.

Leaving early doesn’t mean you're giving up—it means you’re making the healthiest choice for yourself. Trust your instincts and know that it’s okay to leave if you’re not feeling supported or comfortable.

Tip: Set an exit time or remind yourself that leaving early is always an option if things become too much. Sometimes, stepping away is the most important step in maintaining your sobriety.

About Dunham House

Located in Quebec's Eastern Townships, Dunham House is a residential treatment centre specializing in mental health and addiction. We are the only residential facility of our kind in Quebec that operates in English.

Our evidence-based treatment programs include a variety of therapeutic activities such as art, music, yoga, and equine-assisted therapy. In addition to our residential services, we offer a full continuum of care with outpatient services at the Queen Elizabeth Complex in Montreal.

Click here more information about our programs and admissions